Wednesday, May 16, 2012

The Great Lutz Guv'na Debate

From the Lutz Civic Association's newsletter the Lutz Civic Review:
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We now have four ambitious souls who will vie for the honor of becoming the next Guv’na of Lutz. The Great Debate will be held on Saturday, May 19 from 2:00 until 4:00 p.m. at the Old Lutz School on Highway 41. The debate will include the Lutz Lie Detector test, candidate contests, food, and the presentation of prizes to the winners.

Connie Dorton, domestic diva and crown princess of her humble abode in Lutz, has achieved all of her childhood dreams except that of becoming Guv’na. She is eminently qualified to be Guv’na, due to the fact that she supports local businesses by shopping as often as possible, which is why she has a collection of nearly everything there is to own, including her prized Rolling Stones pinball machine. She also has a stylish regal parade wave, much like that of Queen Elizabeth.

But, candidate Karin D’Amico may be able to introduce Connie to a whole new world of collectibles because, as a member of the Lutz-Land O’ Lakes Women’s Club and the Little Women, she spends much of her free time helping host their flea markets and sales. It’s easy to fill your trunk with great Flea Market Junque! In fact, Karin may host her own flea market for a Guv’na campaign fund fun-raiser.

And Connie could also spend money at Philly Cream of Tampa, owned by candidate Brian Vindick. By the way, he could also use a care package consisting of a Lutz t-shirt because, as a world traveler who now lives in Lutz, he sometimes sleepwalks at night and tries to make his way to the Liberty Bell. At other times, thinking he’s in Tampa, he wanders into the kitchen looking for the famed Ybor City chicken.

Candidate Robin LeBlanc also has things to sell besides behavior training for your pet dog, ‘gator, chicken, ex-husband, etc. She has a walking stick which looks at you, rolling its eyes much like teens do. At least it doesn’t stay out late at parties or talk back. She also grows her own onions, complete with built-in little breath mints, which are available for sale. Brian may add them to his menu, because they would lend some Lutz pizzaz to those Philly hot dogs.

And Robin is the only candidate who has genuine Lutz cow patties for sale. These are great for Frisbee tossing, not to mention fertilizing. They are produced by her gentle bull, Hershey.

And, speaking of bull, mark your calendars for the Great Guv’na Debate on the 19th. Y’all be there!

For more information contact the LCA at info@TheLutzCivicAssociation.org

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